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with pure joy and in silence

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My Mom taught me mindfulness in daily activities. She always hand washed her dishes in silence, never cared for the dishwasher that she would stand next to, it was her drying “rack”, she cut her vegetables precisely and uniformly with great attention, her passion for sewing was not powered with electricity from a machine but the energy from her hands; she preferred to hand stitch full projects. In her last weeks, she would lay in bed with a piece of cloth, needle and thread and stitch dresses for Ava and Meera. She always did her meditation with pure joy and in silence.
Yesterday was hard. As part of my grieving process, I will continue to practice mindfulness in my daily activities. It brings me closer to her.

light & love

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my rock, my strength

She was my strength. She held me up. And now I’m trying to hold myself together this season. I’ve had so much support, love and kindness to help me do so. Thank you my friends!

Last night’s dream which inspired this share: A family friend was rock climbing and had paused half way up and to turn around to tell me to try it and that I could do it. And even with all my doubt, I did it, I climbed it. The meaning/interpretation is so real and so heart wrenching for me. My Mom was my rock, my strength. And now I have to work on my ‘extreme’ obstacle/climb to find peace without her. thank you for letting me share.
I still cry her name every day. She branded her love on me, her signature has been tattooed on me, and now I wanted to share this image of her, an image of her strength, after many many rounds of chemo, an image that has been imprinted to my mind. She allowed this photograph and in that moment told me that I’ll be ok.

light & love